WOULD IT BE WEIRD

WOULD IT BE WEIRD

Would it be weird if I smelt a bear that let of wind that made me high and saw a pig fly by or had a sty in my eye? And then I poisoned you with rye and you were still alive or if my name was Clive and I was born and raised in a beehive?

Would it be weird if I snogged a prince that turned into a frog, or if I said my future ex-lover was a model in a catalogue? And if my whole life was written on a analogue by a ball dog?

Would it be weird if I could bend a spoon with my heart instead of my mind and if love was a drug and everybody gave it a try or if men really didn’t cry?

Would it be weird if I was invisible but tried to hide and told lies to keep my pride and said my husband was name Clyde, or if I said that I saw something that made me cockeyed?

Would it be weird if every time I breathe it made your nose bleed and ran knocked-kneed in a stampede?

Or if I said I liked watching bacteria breed or if I didn’t smoke but chocked on weed?

ANNOYING ME

ANNOYING ME

You annoy me like an itch that made me twitch

And like my older brother Mitch, who was a snitch.

Probably lying in a ditch somewhere so I thought.

You annoy me like an accidental snort that I caught of an escort

Who had a wart that looked like a chestnut.

You annoy me like a badly done hair cut that resembles that dirty mutt

that is a pain in the butt.

You annoy me like a loud snore that came from a bore,  

I ate raw when my mum saw; I ran into a door and broke my jaw that left my throat sore.

You annoy me like MR Capotes goat that ate the remote,

And now wears a rain coat on a speed boat.

You annoy me like the flu, when I sneezed my bogey flew in the stew but you never knew,

 I did tell your Cousin Andrew but he said not to tell you.

You annoy me like the bully named woolly,

 I was feared fully but pushed him in the trolley and now he doesn’t walk properly.

You annoy me like my bedbugs so I sleep with earplugs they give me nothing but hugs, I think it was because I used to live with litterbugs.

You annoy me like a bad smell that made me fell down the well which mad me unwell, I was hurt when I fell , I was once a male and now I’m female, look can you tell?

You annoy me like my boyfriend Jake keeps calling me beefcake I asked why, he said it’s because I smell of beefsteak now he has a headache and calls me fruitcake.

You annoy me like the plague on my teeth that makes me heath, well I did eat steal cheese and didn’t brush in a week.       

TRAVELED SO FAR

TRAVELED SO FAR
On my journey I was pushed through a tunnel through life I can across an angel he spoke and said

‘aww my beautiful baby, I will be with you all the step of the way, walk in the right path and you’ll be ok’

On my adventures I climbed a mountain, I came across a white dove he spoke and he said ‘hello my beautiful child I see you have strayed along the path, turn your heart towards your parents and honour them both.

On my visit I swam the ocean I came across the wind he spoke and he said ‘hello my beautiful, your becoming the person I created, remember do not enter the path of the wicked and do not walk in the way of evil.

PROVERBS 4; 14

On my holiday I sat on the beach and saw the burning sun he spoke and he said ‘good morning my beautiful sunshine ‘when you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers; they shall not over-flow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch’

ISALAH 43:2

On my last journey I came across a mirror and there stands before me is a beautiful angel, I then came across a star he spoke and he said oh my beautiful sunlight, what can I do for you tonight, your skin so fair, your wings so bright, whose soul, do you wish to unite?

I then said ‘I came so far in life, I crawled, walked and ran through life with your help.

You’re the one I look up to, you’ve been my loyal friend, and I want to be with you to the end.

You gave me everything I asked for because you told me.

‘Whatever you ask in my name, I will do it JOHN 14; 13-14

You’re the one I adore; please take me to the door.

You’re the one I wish to unite at this time tonight.

I came across a beautiful bright light and showed his face I bowed crying and fell to his feet,  he spoke and he said

‘welcome my beautiful to your heavenly home my beautiful angel’   

TOILET PAPER

Dear toilet paper
You always run out when I need you the most.
You are soft against my cheeks.
Your sheets is the softest against my skin.
You don’t mind being used and your always back for more.
I can count on you to wipe my tears away.
And feel my bra when I need support.
I can’t imagine being without you in my life.
And when you’re gone, you can always be replaced.
You are there when I’m sick to wipe my nose.
You do a better job at cleaning myself then I do.
My dearest friend TOILET PAPER

My lonely heart

MY LONELY HEART

My lonely heart makes weird noises.

I can hear little screamy voices.

If you stop, listen and focus its sounds like something out the circus.

The noise is different when my mood changes.

Like when I’m funny you can hear clown voices and when I’m lonely, it makes an awful sound.

It’s enough to scare you out of your seat and look around.

My heart is in a state, I just lay awake when everybody sleeps and I say ‘not a word not even a peep, I just want to go to sleep’

My heart doesn’t make beats.  

It just makes weird sounds.

I’ll love to open my heart one day.

It’s enough to make grown men scream and run away.

I hope one day it will make beats.

SEIZED FIRE

SEIZED FIRE

This isn’t the life I’m supposed to live.

Wedged in-between my dreams and reality.

Sitting on the ledge of confusion with my legs swinging in frustration.

My life is partly lived not living life to the full.

Caught up in the cross fire of my divided attention.

I lost my desire and will power to do my will on this earth.

Hauled away from the active lifestyle I possessed.

Slipped through my fingers is my vision, my vision to live amongst best and do the work I’m proud of.

Snatching my focus is the blank canvas of my ambitions, the hectic lifestyle blinds folds me.

Controlled by the perils of slothfulness I resist in their abduction lugging me to self-pity.

Held down by my obsessions and pouring sleep in my eyes.

Stared at by judge full eyes, knocking me out of my self-esteem, the confidence I need to climb the wall of success.

I’ve hidden my beauty now I want it to shine, to show the hard work and compassion I yearn for.